everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
