at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
