how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
