I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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