Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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