Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
