i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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