So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
