you turned your livingroom into a bong?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
