just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
