the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
