I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
