am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
