Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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