Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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