As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
