Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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