I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
