let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
