That's when you crack a 10am beer
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
