PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
