His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
