i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
