Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
