Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
