my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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