we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
