I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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