is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
