Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
