Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
