I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
