I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
