she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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