i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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