Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
