she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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