operation have a gay friend backfired
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
