Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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