did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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