I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
