just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
