Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
