he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
