At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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