i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
