my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
