i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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