I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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