The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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