actually, I'm a sock model
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
MIDGETS
????
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
