White coat. Heels.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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